We Don't Need to Make Sense

Life has a way of throwing us ‘experiences’ to help us shift, release and grow into the something much greater than what we are currently living. Sometimes it takes a few of these ‘experiences’ for us to stop and pay attention – as has been the case for me in the past few months.

On more than one occasion, I have literally been brought to my knees in grief – not the grief of losing some one, but the grief of losing some thing. What made this so difficult for me, was the not knowing. Not knowing what it was I’d lost?

My logical mind could make no sense out of the deep grief I felt. My body however, felt it all.

Trying to make sense out of this grief, had me spiraling downwards. I’d grab at old beliefs and thought patterns, and attach my feelings to past events. I’d let my mind override my body – telling myself to STOP CRYING. The thing is, our bodies hold so much more wisdom than our minds, and my body, simply wanted to grieve.

In each experience, I noticed something. When my mind became so tired and finally surrendered, it actually allowed my body to work through what it needed. And when it was given this time, it worked quickly. Really quickly!

Fully surrendering allowed my heart to open, and I discovered that what was lying underneath the initial pain, fear and betrayal, was love. With that love came a sense of deep peace. And with that peace came a new understanding – we don’t have to understand, to make sense, in order to heal.

As a kinesiologist, one of my gifts was the ability to pin-point the root cause of pain, stress or trauma in the body. I believed it was important for my clients to understand – to help them piece together why they were feeling the way they were.

What my own experiences have taught me is that this knowledge, only really serves the mind. The body has its own unique way of working through stress and trauma. It doesn’t matter how much work we do on the mind. How much we rationalise or process old beliefs and thought patterns. It is in the body that we hold the stress.

If I’d allowed my logical mind to control what was happening in my body, I believe the healing process would have taken months. In my mind, it DIDN’T MAKE SENSE to forgive a dear friend for completely betraying my trust.

It didn’t make sense to stop fearing a troubled neighbour who was trespassing on our land.

It didn’t make sense to go against all professional advice and trust that my son was exactly where he should be.

For each of these horribly beautiful experiences, I allowed my body to do what it needed. I’ve cried so many tears over the past few months – the sort of tears you’d expect from losing a loved one. They didn’t make sense – they didn’t have to.

I’m now starting to understand (in a fully embodied way), the gift in trusting the body. It knows SO MUCH MORE than our minds could ever comprehend. Our bodies communicate to us through feelings and sensations. It is in honouring those feelings and sensations that deep healing can take place.

In my Vision Quest last year, I journeyed with our land. As I was writing today, I remembered something she shared with me:

“You cannot stop the sadness, but you can allow it to move through you. You try to hold onto it. Your mind questions, analyses, searches for answers for which there may be none. Your tears represent the sadness of the collective. Let them fall on the earth. Let them sink into the soil and watch how your tears create alchemy. The earth needs your tears.”